Is empathy something that can be taught? Maybe? But I don’t think completely in a verbal sense. I think it is something to be learned first, experientially. But even before that, under the primer of a healthy attachment relationship forged under hours of repairs. Then, what helps, is a good deal of recognition in others and consequently in our selves, the feelings and emotions that can come with hurt and suffering.

How do we teach something to children who grow up not experiencing any of this? Where do we begin? “Regulation” is the buzz word of today and I do think much can be said for matching the state of someone’s nervous system to help us match in a resonant sense. But I think perhaps an emphasis on the awareness of empathy (both in a cognitive sense and an emotional sense) is just as important.

Placing ourselves in another’s shoes helps us understand the way they think and how they might feel. Even exploring the various types of empathy can be a spring board for understanding how to teach something that may be more naturally intuitive for some people. Working through images of facial expressions, story character development discussion, and even just emotion coaching can help us begin to teach empathy to children.

The highest sense of empathy, could be considered affective empathy and allows us to have compassion for one another and also ourselves. And ultimately, this allows for healing relationally.